I AM SHOL

Life just get’s weirder and weirder doesn’t it? I feel like life just always seems to nudge me in the direction I want to go and I just get so scared on letting it. Maybe it’s my control issues, maybe it’s the insecurity of not being ready, but the reality is that it’s both. I want to do it all myself, but it’s impossible, but also, it’s that I don’t feel all the way ready to move on. To grow, to push forward, to leave things behind, that’s what scares me. Even though this is the only way, it’s terrifying. It’s more terrifying when you’re fully aware of where you’re going. It feels lonely. It’s hard to explain. I feel misunderstood. Not heard. I guess that’s why I started this. It’s my only outlet for me to reflect on these feelings.