I AM SHOL

Today should be a pretty bad day considering I will continue to be unemployed, but at the same time… It feels like such a relief at the moment. I was forcing myself for a potential role that just didn’t feel right from the beginning. Maybe the next will offer more confidence in myself and more longterm benefits. I also found out the reason why I got let go from my last job, I’m glad I was right, but there are things I can work on for myself. Maybe I really just need to keep my mouth shut even more and trust even less. That’s what it’s coming down to. I still believe I don’t need to change myself, but change is good and I need to be better anyway. But I can’t lie, not being liked by someone “superior” to me… FEELS FUCKING AMAZING! The rush that it gives me, is NOT healthy at all, but it does drive me to push harder and do better for myself. Sorry not sorry. I fucking love myself.