I AM SHOL

As much as I need money to continue paying my stupid debt off and bills, knowing I’ll eventually be taking a job again actually pains me. It pains me because if I didn’t have that debt, these stupid “obligations”, I would probably dump more of my energy into my own content and art, and just focus on everything that I do have control of. I can only blame the dumb impressionable things that I am attracted to, but that clearly always sets me up in a corner filled with anger and impatience. It’s like self inflicting wounds that I don’t let heal and always keep open. I need to change, but I also need to risk it all to build something that benefits me and all those around me that I truly care about and want to succeed.