I AM SHOL

I’m having a hard time with my mindset lately. It’s like everything I’ve ever wanted to accomplish is starting to resurface and everything I have become now is starting to fall apart. I don’t want to look cool, I don’t want to have that “cool” job, I don’t want that artificial lifestyle that every one of us is chasing. The reality is that I never wanted it to begin with. It’s like I tripped and fell into this. Working in high fashion, working with super cars, yeah it looks cool because that’s what’s “cool” , but I don’t feel any more cool than a librarian, or a janitor. It doesn’t feel as cool as people may seem. I’m over it. I want to do cool things, discovering a new planet, creating a cutting edge design, or a cool piece of technology. That’s what’s cool, to me. The glitter and glamour is superficial and it’s starting to take its toll on me. I guess it always has been, but now I feel it more than ever.